Me: my son is so tiny i must have the tiniest son in the world
Doctor: this is a regular sized baby, i don’t think you understand how babies work
Me: I love my tiny son
A guy once told my lesbian friend that being a lesbian is a huge turn off for guys and that she’ll never find a boyfriend.
tip of the day don’t vacuum with ear phones in because i just finished vacuuming the whole house only to realise it wasn’t even on
my teacher sent a student home today because the student had had an anxiety attack earlier in the morning and she said “if you have a broken bone, you don’t just keep walking on it and damaging it more, you treat it. Your mental health is the same. Health then school.”
this is actually the cutest thing i’ve ever seen